Monday, March 25, 2013

Twilight (Twilight #1) by Stephanie Meyer

Isabella Swan's move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Isabella's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Isabella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife-between desire and danger.Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite.

First line:
I'd never given much thought to how I would die - though I'd had reason enough in the last few months -- but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.
Paperback borrowed from friend
1 star out of 5
Grab your pitchforks and some friends, we're going hunting tonight. No, not for vampires. For Stephenie Meyer. I am seriously astounded at how this became a New York Time bestseller. There is no plot, suspense, or action in the first seventy-five percent of the book. Also, even though everybody knows going in that Edward is vampire, there should still be some suspense in Bella trying to figure out his species. But there is none! She figures it out almost immediately.

And don't get me started on Bella. First, she self-exiles herself to Forks, Washington, to live with her father, yet she acts like she is going to be tortured when she arrives. And then her father is trying to have a relationship with her and she shuts him down at every turn. She is always crying, complaining, or whining. And she cries over small things, like Edward not being at school, but she doesn't over things that she would have a legitimate excuse for crying, like almost being hit by a van or almost being raped. From the moment she sees Edward in the lunch room, Bella is obsessed with him. She gets upset when he's not at school, even though he was a complete jerk to her. In her own words (p67):
I was consumed by the mystery that Edward presented. And more than a little obsessed with Edward himself.
 And she sees no problem with that, even claiming to love him. Honey, that's lust and a lack of self-worth, not love. She even makes herself sound like a stalker (p69)
No one else was as aware of Edward as I always was. No one else watched him the way I did.
 Bella becomes angry and depressed when Edward won't tell her what he really is, because she knows he's not human. She's only known him for a month or two at this point. AND they've rarely spoken. So, why would he tell her? They're not even friends, let alone close enough for him to tell her about his undeadness. Bella also has major self-esteem issues, even though almost every guy in town falls for the minute they see her. And when she returns to Phoenix to escape James, a vampire set on eating her, she becomes a vegetable. Admittedly, she does do a courageous thing in trying to save her mother, thinking that James is going to harm her, but then she is glad that she's going to die. Seriously?? Who would be glad to die a painful death at thee hands of a vampire? Bella (unfortunately) survives, though. And once again I hate her as she becomes a needy child while at the hospital.

I'm pretty sure Edward is bi-polar. That or he's on his period because I couldn't keep up with the mood swings. One minute he's telling Bella to stay away from him, that's it's too dangerous for them to be friends, the next he's offering her a ride to Seattle and asking her to sit with him at lunch. He's obsessed with Bella and is extremely over protective. (p328)
"I don't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant."
Too late.

Edward and Bella's relationship isn't built on love, it's built on lust and obsession. Take these quotes for example: (P174)
"I followed you to Port Angeles," he admitted . . . I wondered if it should bother me that he was following me; instead, I felt a strange surge of pleasure.
Of course it should bother you that he's following you! Talk about obsessive. I don't understand what she sees in him! And then there's this quote: (p292)
"You spied on me?" But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with proper outrage. I was flattered.
She's flattered that Edward is STALKING her?!?!?! WHAT?!?! "I'm flattered to have a stalker," said no sane person ever. And Edward basically tells her throughout the book that all he wants to do is kill her. That's all he thinks about. He wants to kill her. And she doesn't care because she's in love with him.

I do have to say that the end (and only) fight scene was exciting and I did enjoy that. But does that really count when the rest of the book was despicable?

Please, please, spare yourself and don't read this book. It's completely horrendous and in the words of Stephen King, "Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." So go grab a Harry Potter book, and just burn Twilight.

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