Beau's POV - Truck scene

The truck scene in The Vincent Boys by Abbi Glies retold in Beau's POV:

I couldn’t believe she was doing this. I stood watching her with a mix of awe and... hell, desperation as she scrambled up in the back of my truck and made herself comfortable on the blanket I’d laid out back there. Even while I’d been preparing the truck to make it comfortable I’d been worried she’d balk when I brought her back her and she saw the makeshift bed.
“Are you coming?” she asked me breaking the silence. Her voice trembled slightly.
“Yeah, I got a little sidetracked by the view,” I replied and finally joined her on the blanket. Her unique sexy scent hit me and I knew I needed time to calm down. Having Ashton out here in the dark, alone, on a blanket was making my heart race.
Kneeling in front of her, I picked up her right foot. I’d been fascinated with her cute little toes most of my life. I unsnapped her sandal and sat it aside before taking her next foot and doing the same thing. She had dainty feet and tonight her toenails were a pink color that made me want to bite them. Lifting my eyes to look at her I smiled, “I like your pink toenails.”
“It’s cotton candy. The color is... I mean,” she stammered nervously over her words. I didn’t like her being nervous. Not with me.
“I like cotton candy. Those toes of yours just may be sweeter though.” I reached down and gently squeezed her foot then shifted to sit beside her.
Staring out at the silent dark water I realized this was why I was the bad boy. Bringing Ash out here, I knew exactly what I was doing. Good guys didn’t do this. But, hell, good guys also didn’t have to deal with the girl of their damn fantasies stripping off her shirt and bra and straddling his lap either. Ever since Ash had basically dry humped me underneath that tree, I’d been a little crazy. I wasn’t Sawyer. I wasn’t the good guy. But I did love her. I’d always loved her.
I wasn’t going to think about the rights and wrongs of this anymore. I’d do whatever Ash wanted me to do. It wasn’t like I could turn the girl down. I’d walked away once in the beginning and being the good guy sucked hard. I didn’t really want to try that again. I’d regretted it since the moment it had happened.
I laid back on the pillows I’d snatched off my bed and brought. Normally I didn’t go out of my way to make sure a girl had all the comforts of home when she crawled up in the back of my truck. But Ash was different. I wasn’t going to shove our discarded clothes under her head when she deserved a damn pillow. My pillow.
Turning slightly she stared down at me and I could see the indecision in her eyes. I stretched my arm out beside me, “Come here.”
That’s all it took. Ash was curled up beside me and resting her head on my chest within seconds. Feeling her warmth against me again, I battled my conscious some more. God, I wanted to do this but was I really that fucking screwed up.
“I love Sawyer, Ash,” I whispered as I stared up at the night sky instead of her sweet little head tucked under my chin. I needed to say this and I wouldn’t be able to if I was looking at her. “My whole life I’ve never envied him anything. Not his father. Not his mother. Not his money. Not his athletic abilities,” I stopped and took a deep breath. “Until the day I watched from across the football field as he picked you up and kissed you on the mouth. It wasn’t your first kiss. I might have just been fourteen years old but I could tell I’d somehow been left out of a secret. I wanted to plant my fist in his face and rip you out of his arms. As I took a step toward him your eyes met mine and I saw the silent pleading for forgiveness or acceptance. I wasn’t sure which. All I knew was you were Sawyer’s now. My best friend was gone. I envied him and hated him for the first time that day. He’d finally won the one prize I thought was mine.”
I felt Ashton’s body tense against me and I knew I’d said too much. Maybe it was for the best. Since I had no control over my need for her someone needed to stop this.
Ashton turned over and leaned up on her elbow and gazed down at me. Her golden hair fell in her face and I reached up to tuck it behind her ear so I could see her eyes clearly. I needed to see her expression as she let me down easily.
“You were my best friend Beau. You never treated me or looked at me any way but as a friend. Once I started to change and we all began to notice the opposite sex you never seemed to care that I was a girl. Sawyer did. Maybe because he hadn’t been my partner in crime. Maybe because the connection I had with him hadn’t been the same as the one I had with you. But he saw me as a girl. I think deep down I’d been waiting on you but when he kissed me, I knew it would never be you. I wasn’t the one for you.”
Hell yes she was the one for me. She’d been the one for me since she’d punched me in the face in preschool. The sad look in her eyes kept me from arguing with her. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be about upsetting her. She needed comfort and I needed to remember that.
“I was very aware that you were a girl Ash. I was just scared because the one person in the world who knew every secret I’d ever had also happened to be the most beautiful girl I’d ever known. My feelings for you were scary as Hell.” A small smile touched her lips as she leaned down and kissed my forehead.
“Right now. Right here. I’m yours. Not Sawyers. He isn’t who I want. Right now, all I want is you.”
Damn. How was a guy supposed to turn that down? I clasped her waist with my hands and pulled her on top of me. Without missing a beat her lips covered mine and the perfect taste that was Ashton Grey set my body on fire. Running my hands up the backs of her bare thighs ignited a sigh from her that made me lose my mind a little bit. I needed to stop this but how in the hell I was supposed to do that, I wasn’t sure.
“Ash, I want you. Bad, very very bad. But you deserve better than this.”
Her mouth stopped anything else I might have said as she licked my bottom lip and then whispered, “It doesn’t get any better than this Beau.”
Fuck being good. I’d tried. There was no turning back now. I grabbed her tight little bottom and pressed her against where I needed to feel her the most. Common sense was out the window. I needed this girl more than damn air.
“Please Beau,” she cried out as the pressure caused her to arch her back and whimper. Ah yeah. This girl was mine. I wasn’t giving her back.
“Hold onto me baby. I’m going to take care of you.”